Thursday, July 7, 2011

Jim Morrison: The Phoenix Rises

(Jim Morrison from the Doors has channeled to Guest Blogger,  psychic-medium Claudia Portugal)

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Jim has come to Claudia to discuss the one he left behind, and factual details of his death in Paris, in July of 1971.

The Phoenix is a representation of death and rebirth in the sun. Jim compares himself to this.

These are the exact words Jim Morrison gave to psychic-medium Claudia Portugal:

"I am always around my Rebecca, always watching her and always protecting her. I have absolutely no interest at all regarding any of my past life here on Earth. My fans always claim that I was quite the massive fuck-up , and was robbed of a good life and career, but deep down I was unhappy and unsatisfied. Even through all the fame and all the women that constantly fell all over me, I was always missing something or someone; in reality I was missing my mate. My twin flame eternal mate; I was missing my Rebecca.

Unfortunately, I need to go back and mention my life as Jim Morrison, resident lunatic of the Doors. This my dear, is a true orison for you. My 27 and half years on earth as Jim Morrison were simply a destiny, unfulfilled, sidetracked and somewhat deranged. I grew up longing to be a bohemian writer, not a hippie, there is quite a big difference in those lifestyles. I later believed film could be a great art form and path for me to take. Seeing European art films during my high school years was a great inspiration. I didn't believe I was going to be John Ford, but maybe an Americanized version of Jean-Luc Godard. My aspirations may have been quite high in terms of this dream of a writing and film career, but of course, I didn't plan to get into music, it was fate.

The collection of books written about me are an affront, something inherently infantile and one dimensional. They report one drunken escapade after another, clearly demonstrating I had all the classic characteristics of an alcoholic, which of course was the absolute truth. I was an alcoholic, it was a physiological dependency but one I could have and would have beaten permanently. Cigarettes, were also an addiction that would've resurfaced during my lifetime if my life had not been prematurely extinguished.

My life was a mystery as was my death. You see, I was an actor playing roles for everyone. I gave people exactly what they sought out from me and kept my life in various compartments. No one, and I mean no one was able to enter more than two of my compartments at any given time. A healthy life, is essentially one where all the compartments of  what is contained within are fully integrated in a person. I was never the same in front of one person that I was in front of another. I could not be who I really was, because most of the time, I didn't know who Jim Morrison was; I was continuously searching. I begin to try to focus on reinventing myself in Paris for a few months in 1971. I was quite ill and the part the wonderful books about me don't know, is that I had two conditions I was not being treated for at the time of my demise. One, was just misdiagnosed for months by Parisian doctors, it's called pleurisy. I was not diagnosed properly  for this condition and therefore not receiving proper treatment and it turns out, I also had developed an ulcer, more specifically a duodenal ulcer. These conditions fully explain the symptoms I was experiencing during my final months on earth. They would've been properly diagnosed and treated later in July of 1971. I didn't make it that long, I did not take my own life, I did not accidentally overdose on anything, what people will never believe or accept is, I was murdered. I was murdered because someone believed they owned me and could not leave me be.

My death was not a suicide; I was murdered by the unstable mate that I was with. We argued on July 1st, I was leaving Pamela. She needed money, she did not want me, yet she wanted me to stay with her because of her popularity if she and I stayed together, and have the money as well. She was in love with the French Count, but he had left her for the second time. The night of the murder, I had not been feeling well. She had come to see me and we argued, and she slipped a sleeping pill in my drink, I always had a drink around me. She meant to knock me out but instead she killed me by shooting me  up with a dose of heroin. I was very sick and I was also very sensitive to opiates. I did not take drugs the night of my death other than prescription anti-spasmodic medicine; I had a drinking problem and I refused to do heroin. She was a heroin junkie. I had no intention of staying with her. She knew I was leaving her, and she didn’t want that to happen. She meant to knock me out, and instead she overdosed me with heroin. Between my illness, the alcohol, sleeping pill, and heroin; it ended fatally. Later, she and Count Jean, moved me from my bed to the bathtub to make it look like I overdosed myself.  Panic then set in because if an autopsy took place, she may well be sitting in a Parisian jail cell, with her lover.   I was not a heroin user, I was not in love with her, and she couldn’t allow me to leave. She needed to preserve her financial security and celebrity status…so she thought. She had intentions to force me to stay with her. Jean left her and she could not allow herself to be left alone, with no status or money.

My death was actually, due to the fact I did not break off that long on again/off again pseudo-relationship. It became apparent to the albatross around my neck, I was getting ready to leave her and this time, probably not return. You see, there was a big fight the night of July 1st that went on for nearly 3 hours. My future plans were revealed and this was something I had not intended to do with her. You can find pictures I would rather have you not see of me and this bitch in France taken a few days before my demise, where we look content, somewhat happy together though my eyes were empty. I was playing a role with her so she didn't realize as soon as I got the money from the Door's office back in the states, I was gone. In L.A., I would just take off on her, for days, weeks or months. She would never know what I was going to do and this time, I had to be careful she didn't catch-on. I am not proud of this but anyone who met me on earth will often describe a different person, because I gave them all each of what I thought they wanted. Call it a psychological game or call me an actor, it doesn't matter anymore, it's over. I am on this side now because someone could not let me go or let me be and this was the person who claimed to love me.

People hardly question the extreme cover-up of my death. They buy the story I died in a bathtub, throwing up pineapple and blood. They believe I went to see a movie that night, when I was hardly able to climb the stairs at the apartment; I never saw a movie my last night on earth or ate Chinese food. Who can vouch for these stories then or now? It's a complete joke. I didn't go out to score drugs for a woman who vowed to get off smack and clean-up her life and had stashes of her poison  secretly hidden all over the apartment. I was thrown out of the nightclub I supposedly died in, for being drunk and disorderly and I was also taken out one night and put in a taxi for passing out in the bathroom, because I was drink, and sick, and not because I was snorting heroin. This kind of thing often happened in L.A., but no one really cared.

After my untimely demise, lies were told and rumors started. I did not bite the dust in the bathroom of a Parisian night club. No need to believe a book that came out over 30 years since my death by a so-called friend who I hardly knew. I knew strippers better than Sam Bennett.. I did not mistake heroin for cocaine. Yes, I did use drugs on earth but I was an alcoholic, not a drug addict. I used drugs during that time period to discover what Crazy Horse had seen in a vision, the world beyond this one, the real world, not the mirage. It was quite common in the times I lived in to partake in L.S.D, peyote, and cocaine. I believed these drugs would help me write and they turned out to be empty vessels. I was not into opiates. I had tried them, didn't like them and felt like the drug induced stupor they put me in the few times I experienced them was not my trip. I was never a heroin user, considered it trash, and it turned out to be poison for me. I did not willingly take heroin the night of my death, there was no consent and I had quite a few drinks before returning to the Parisian apartment the night I died, so as a non-heroin user, the combination of the health problems I was experiencing, and the alcohol, did me in.

Pamela and I were always fighting. No one except for one individual knew that I was going to leave her and end it indefinitely with Pamela. She did find out that this was my plan, and this was her reason for trying to prevent me from leaving Paris. She did murder me, but it was an accident. She did not want me to leave and she was not thinking or behaving like a rational person. She was a heroin junkie and her motive was to stop me from leaving. She did not plan to kill me, she planned to keep me with her in Paris. She thought that by drugging me that would keep me there with her, but her irrational behavior killed me. I did not do drugs while in Paris; she injected me in the foot. She thought it would be undetectable that way. I was sick and drunk on top of that, making it a lethal concoction. Pamela did not care about me; I was never in love with Pamela as the media always portrayed. All of it was for show and publicity, and she just wanted the status and the money.

Numerous women surrounded me, but those that claimed to have had a relationship with me never cared about me. They cared about the money, the fame, and their identity. Pamela only cared about her meal ticket and popularity. All of them, including the witch Patricia, who claims to have been my only wife on earth, did not care about me. They didn’t even know me. The so called “Pagan wedding” was all a big fraud, as we had no marriage. No one really knew me at all, not to mention,  my inner feelings about my truest, deepest desires. I couldn’t care less who I was with. I didn’t care much about them, as I always felt empty inside. These women who claimed they were the “one” for me, are all liars. None of them were the one for me. All of them were just money and status hungry vultures.  Just because I met Pamela before I had money or fame, once I got it, she was the one who lived for it, as she was materialistic and had to assume her identity from a man since she had nothing going for her - other than her looks which by the time we got to Paris, weren't all that great for a 24 year old girl.  She was an empty shell.  In the beginning we were kids having fun, she was going to be just another girlfriend for me, but she clung to me and I felt increasingly guilty for the drug addiction that engulfed her. Looking back now, since I didn't introduce her to heroin and in fact, continually told her it was bullshit to use it, I should  have realized where this all was heading.  She would just show-up wherever I was, motel rooms, concerts, wherever she could find me.  She was not going to let go and I felt guilt and if I was so in love with her, you would see much more evidence. 

I am sure I would've asked Pamela to accompany me to the most serious and important situation I faced in my life, my trial in Miami.  I made sure she did not go, I didn't want her there.  If I was in love with her, I would've wanted her by my side.  She pulled a stunt back in L.A. because she knew she was steadily losing her grip on me.  She overdosed and was hospitalized for supposed exhaustion or so I guess they called it in those days.  I did not rush home from Miami to acknowledge her childish actions, I actually drove back from Florida to California with one of my best friends Babe Hill and stopped along the way.  Does that sound like a man in love?  She ran off with her french count after I was convicted in Miami and out on appeal because he was accused of overdosing Janis Joplin.  She took off out of the country when her supposed husband was returning from such a serious matter.  People need to come to reality.  She was in love with the Count by 1970 and I was not in love with her ever, she was just another girlfriend who acted so helpless and laid a massive guilt trip on me.  I wish I had fallen in love on earth once, it never happened and I know why, I was only meant for one, and I would not have met her for another decade and when I did, it would've been total euphoria.

I come to you only because I am interested in my Rebecca, I am not interested in anything else and I have no interest in hanging around and talking to any Medium just for the hell of it. I am here only for my Rebecca until she comes home. I am around my Rebecca always. She is the only thing that matters to me. Once she comes home, there will be no reason for me to be around. I don’t give a fuck what goes on here on Earth and who’s doing what. I always make sure that my true love, eternal mate is looked after. Any psychic Medium out there that claims to be talking to me is a big ass liar. I am around you and only you because of my Rebecca.

I enjoyed writing poetry. Most of my time was spent writing poems…when I wasn’t working that is. I aspired to be a poet, but it was my musical career that made me popular. I didn’t care much about it; I cared about deep intellectual things, going into a deeper level of understanding and expression. I had a love of books, I longed  for a higher and deeper knowledge of the structure of life and the universe. I drank, but it was to numb myself through the constant sorrow of there being no fulfillment. I drank on daily basis, so to choose to remain constantly under the influence. I could see things no one around me could see, I had visions all the time, which led me to self destruction.

I felt the need to go to other Mediums to talk about my love, and my true love Rebecca. Most of the time it back fired, as these people, or women I should say, would start to become greedy, jealous with envy, and would want me to be interested in them., so the messages were never quite accurate, other than the book “Turn the Page”. And even that book left a lot to be desired. I channeled to women because I felt that it would be more effective to get the message out to the world, but I didn’t stop to think or realize that these women would fall into a state, of greed, envy, and pure idiocy. All I care about is my Rebecca. Nothing else here on Earth holds any momentous, or yearning calling to me.

I needed to move on with my life. All I wanted to do was start anew and put behind the life I was leading. I was planning to leave The Doors. I felt I would do much better if I could pursue this life as a writer. I was tired of the music I was writing. I wanted something new and different. All of these plans were going to take place once I left Pamela for good. I allowed the management that surrounded me to manipulate and control what I played. I didn’t like doing things nearly for the hell of it. I really wanted to have deep, significant music with the poetic lyrics I would add to my tunes. Unfortunately, my life was cut short because I was a NON-HEROIN USER,  and that poison was given to me without my consent or knowledge until it was too late and my life ended the way it did. Not much was accomplished on an artist’s level, according to me. All of my fans have this type of adoration toward me, and I don’t understand why. I was always wasted so my true artistic talent never shined through the way I would have wanted.

I become seriously angered when I look at my earthly reflection in the universal mirror and wonder how my life would have been different had I lived and married my true love, eternal mate Rebecca.

I am around for my Rebecca and no one else. I channeled previously to a woman named June about my death but then she became greedy and jealous, and she never set the story straight.  I spoke to  Jacquie in great detail about my love of Rebecca, and spoke to a woman named Darcy, who understood my soul and I have come in contact with her true love, Vern.  I have visited Francine in Pennsylvania, about my true love Rebecca, as she is very trustworthy.

 I did tell a woman named Victoria how I died but I stopped speaking to her in December of 2010. I AM NOT speaking to Victoria now, never will again, so she needs to knock off her bullshit. I do not come through to fans, never was understood by fans or never understood them, have no interest in hanging around his empty shrine of a grave or hanging around  in Virginia in bed with some woman who wishes I was in bed with her, sorry Rhonda.  I don't show up as a ghost for any mediums just to talk as I only have an agenda.  I did channel to a man who is unaware I gave him my words.  He is a talented author named John Smelcer and I completed an unfinished poem for him called "Coyote Blues."  He took the task of finishing my work quite seriously but I was there with him and literally gave him the rest of the poem through his crown chakra.  The poem actually is exactly what I wanted it to be, it is finished, just as my earth life is. 

If I were to do this over again, I would be with my Rebecca and our children. I would write poems and continue composing music along side my one and only true love Rebecca. There’s no one for me but her. . Never was, never will be, from here to all eternity.

I recall this film I saw on earth that wasn't all that memorable called ""The Thomas Crown Affair""  but the song from it was, ""The windmills of my mind"",   because now it seems to speak gently in the night about my feelings for Rebecca.  No beginning, no end but the despair I experience as things did not go as planned seems to be suggested beautifully in the lyrics.  This notion we all go to the other side and we are in a ""better place"" is a fallacy.  If you are separated from the only one who has a hold on you, it's no good.  I crave her beyond my cravings for alcohol on earth, it's incomprehensible.

I did not recognize that my music career was a success, mainly because I did not approve of how it was managed. Nor did I approve of the quality of the music. I was never satisfied. All I wanted was to compose music that would reach all at a soul level.

I continue to write songs on the other side for my Rebecca. I am waiting for her, and she is always on my mind.  The day of her arrival will be a day of celebration for me. We will go on to live the life we were meant to live and have our children. I am only around to watch over her and see that she is all right until the day she comes home to me. Many on the other side await her arrival. She is very important to many of us here on the other side. She belongs to a soul group of great importance.  I am not making any more attempts to channel any other psychics, so if you hear or read of someone, or a psychic claiming to talk to me, you must disregard it, as I have only been coming in to Claudia with messages to set the record straight. I need to make sure that from this moment on, no one put out any more crap about me. A lady named MJ has some letters I have given her to put out to Rebecca, that's all folks.  I want nothing else but to be with my true love eternal mate.  I am tired of the bullshit, the delusional books, and I have never made contact over here with a woman named Peggy.  I am tired of those I knew on earth, claiming to have superior knowledge of me and exploiting me.  Take a look in the mirror Sally, Janet and I could name a few others but these women need to get a life. I wasn't your savior, I wasn't even really your friend to any real extent.  I was just someone else you met along the way, your time could be spent on much more meaningful and TRUTHFUL things."

As a gift to my Rebecca, I channeled to someone named Darcy awhile back.

Jim then proceeded to give Claudia some closing comments.  He speaks of Lucille Fletcher and something she wrote entitled the "The Hitchhiker" and how it inspired him.  Jim conveyed to Claudia, he prefers the version presented on radio on what was known as "Suspense" theater than the version later presented on "The Twilight Zone."  He speaks of "Suspense" theater and how they would replay episodes and mentions a wine from Fresno, California, called "Roma Wines."  He saw "The Hitchhiker" on the "Twilight Zone" as well, but it wasn't as good, as Orson Welles had the lead role on radio. 

Jim spoke to Claudia of the Formosa Cafe in West Hollywood and how someone on earth who never sold him out, will recall being there with him!

Jim then mentioned  the song is mentions "THE BEST I EVER HAD” by Gary Allan, and told Claudia, he sends this song to Rebecca:

So you sailed away

Into a grey sky morning

Now I'm here to stay

Love can be so boring

Nothing's quite the same now

I just say your name now


But it's not so bad

You're only the best I ever had

You don't want me back

You're just the best I ever had

So you stole my world

Now I'm just a phony

Remembering the girl

Leaves me down and lonely

Send it in a letter

Make yourself feel better


But it's not so bad

You're only the best I ever had

You don't need me back

You're just the best I ever had

And it may take some time to

Patch me up inside

But I can't take it so I

Run away and hide

And I may find in time that

You were always right

You're always right

So you sailed away

Into a grey sky morning

Now I'm here to stay

Love can be so boring

What was it you wanted

Could it be I'm haunted


But it's not so bad

You're only the best I ever had

I don't want you back

You're just the best I ever had

The best I ever had

The best I ever

Jim says Carl Jung's "Red Book" was given to him in dreams and other forms of hallucinations from the divine and all seeking enlightenment should start by reading the book. Jung became disillusioned with scientific rationalism and began to work on the spirit of the depths. This book is a journey that should be undertaken by anyone seeking true enlightenment and soul transformation as it will open the door to your journey:


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  3. Who is Rebecca?

  4. Jim...Rebecca is who?

  5. Jim..i believe that there was more to you personally than just a superstar.
    People never saw you for who you were as a person or human being..they only saw the rocker/the celebrity and well...yes that is quite sad.Jim i know you only said you are here for your true love Rebecca but well..i was hoping to really get to know and learn more about you as a person not a celeb.Lately after reading some online stories or articles,seeing/watching a couple videos of you and "The Doors"as well as hearing a couple songs or tracks from the Doors..watching "The Doors"movie with Val Kilmer well..i don't know i just seem to find you quite fascinating as a person/musician compared to most others.
    True is when you take away a person's fame and money all you have is a regular person like you and me though.I admire you for wanting to set the record straight though on lies and rumors.I hope you can truly find happiness one day on the other side jim.Sorry if most of your life on earth was a bit of an empty one or sad one.Wish i could learn more about you somehow as well as maybe even have you be a kind of mentor for me in life perhaps?

  6. I believe there is still so much we can probably learn from you jim.Wish i could tell you this personally.Wish that maybe i could also have you as a friend on the other side as well as others perhaps.I know i wish my grandmother was still here on earth sometimes.

  7. Hi, interesting article. I am familiar with Rebecca's book, but I have not read it, as I felt it was a farce. Now, I want to learn more about her. I hope you don't mind, but I reposted by blog on

  8. this is bull shxt why would Jim Morrison talk only about his sex life to a medium when he was a super star? GIVE IT UP KENNEALY! YOU ARE A PSYCHO!